In this post, I emphasize the importance of living in the present moment and embracing change.
I discus stepping out of our comfort zones and focusing on what we can control.
Each moment is a fleeting, ephemeral thing, slipping through our fingers like water.
Today is no different than in Anno Domini. Buddhist philosophy teaches us that suffering is caused by attachment and the inability to embrace change.
Attachment is self-defeating
We can become attached to our possessions, popularity, status, success, comforts or a love interest. We cling to these things and believe that our happiness depends on them, when in fact, clinging causes the very opposite.
It is not that there is anything wrong with these things -in and of themselves; these things come in and out of our lives naturally. But rather, attachment causes us to become morbid. Moreover, our very attachment and morbidity actually pushes these objects of our desire away!
The kind of attachment we are taking about here is an unhealthy fixation that has an addictive quality. It’s feels less like being determined and more like a hang-up. A hang-up or hitch can be defined as an obstacle to smooth progress or development.
When we are attached to something, we feel anxious about losing it or not achieving it. It takes a lot of energy to maintain that attachment, which can leave us exhausted.
It is an inefficient coping mechanism that can lead to the abandoning of meaningful goals.
Identifying unhealthy attachments.
Unhealthy attachments prevent growth and self-improvement.
These impediments are often anchored in limiting beliefs. Here are some examples.
• A person who want’s to be perceived as important and believes that driving a luxury car will make them happy. When in actuality the hefty car payments and the stress of maintenance may make them miserable. The person is attached to the idea that material possessions and external factors such as status and perception will bring them happiness.
• A person attached to the belief that they will win the lottery. When in actuality they know the odds and losing leaves them feeling dejected. The person is attached to living in a fantasy that will never manifest instead taking real steps to improve.
• A person who prioritizes their salary over the actual work and the values of the company even though they know it’s unsustainable and makes them miserable. The person is attached to the idea that money is the only measure of success.
The point isn’t to say that, for example, you shouldn’t drive a nice car if you can afford it and it pleases you. Instead, it’s about recognizing that your happiness and well-being shouldn’t be dependent on it. If it is, then you become a slave to it.
Why do people adopt limiting beliefs and attachments?
Simple.
It shields them from facing the discomfort of change and the pain of growth.
They are like children clinging to their safety blanket or like birds who refuse to fly away from their open cage.
“There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the real labor of thinking” -Thomas Edison
Leave your comfort zone- it’s not that great
Does uncertainty make you afraid of leaving your current limiting situation? Don’t panic but expect to be scared !
In order to experience growth and achieve our objectives, we need to step out of our comfort zone and face our fears. It’s inevitable that we will enter the fear zone when we do so.
But if we can overcome our fears, our comfort zone expands and we can move towards the growth zone. This is where we find our purpose, live our dreams, and achieve our goals.
However, we need to keep setting new goals and continue experiencing growth, otherwise our happiness will stagnate.
Even if our comfort zone expands and catches up with us and also our fears. We must keep pushing ourselves to greater heights.
Without Debate or Pause everything is constantly changing. You may cower in your comfort zone. You may try to hide in your cage when change is imposed on you by others or by fate.
However, change is the only constant in this world, and nothing lasts forever. Sooner or later, we all have to adapt or perish.
“The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.” –Judith Bardwick, Danger in the Comfort Zone
A comfort zone is an unhealthy fixation. To embrace change is to embrace life.
When you cling to your comfort zone your are resisting change.
It’s not always easy but it is important to move on. It is an opportunity for growth and transformation. It is an opportunity to get tough and take effective action.
Sooner or later, we all have to let go of what we’re attached to. And when that time comes, the only way forward is to take effective action towards our dreams.
Effective action is about embracing change, stepping out of your comfort zone, and taking bold steps towards your goals. Have courage!
Revel in Risk
Embracing risk can be a powerful catalyst for growth and success.
It takes courage to step outside of our comfort zones and try something new, but the potential rewards can be tremendous.
Trusting our intuition and taking calculated risks can lead us to new opportunities and experiences that we may have never thought possible.
When we release our attachment to outcomes and focus instead on taking bold and brave actions, we give ourselves the best chance to achieve our goals and attain the success we desire.
So go for gold, revel in the risk, and remember that the greater the risk, the greater the reward.
If your happiness isn’t dependent on outcomes then your well being is not on the line. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Focus on what you can control
Things don’t always go according to plan. A sales team, for example, may have a strategy in place for closing deals, but they can’t control the actions of their prospects or current events.
Customers may have different needs, preferences, or budgets that could cause a sale to fall through -regardless of how skilled the sales team is.
A winning sales team won’t waste time making excuses or placing blame.
Instead, they focus on what they can control in the present moment: their own performance, their thought and mood.
They can assess what they could have done differently, learn from the experience, and apply those lessons without becoming morbid.
Being overly attached to making a sale can actually hinder success.
In the sales industry, the term “commission breath” is used to describe the behavior of associates who become desperate and uneasy due to their attachment to making a sale.
This desperation can become so obvious that it is said that you can “smell it on their breath,” making them appear pitiful and unattractive.
I experienced this first-hand when I worked in money lending back in the aughts (the 2000’s).
There was a beautiful young woman who was a lone officer in the office. When the sales quota was approaching, she would often freak out and exhibit “commission breath.”
This caused her to act awkwardly and make mistakes, making it uncomfortable to work with her.
Clients lost trust in her and would walk out of deals, ultimately leading her to quit without ever making a sale.
In both sales and life, we cannot always control the outcomes. Being too attached to a particular outcome can lead to disappointment and ultimately sabotage our own success.
It is important to focus on the process and do our best, rather than becoming overly attached to a specific result.
By doing so, we can remain calm and focused, make fewer mistakes, and ultimately achieve greater success.
Successful salespeople and those skilled in the art of seduction understand the importance of handling rejection gracefully.
They are able to remain confident and resilient in the face of rejection, knowing that it is simply a part of the process.
They don’t take rejection personally or allow it to affect their self-esteem.
They realize that is a numbers game. Instead, they view it as an opportunity to learn and improve their approach. By being able to handle rejection well, they are better equipped to succeed.
They don’t become attached to a “yes” and don’t suffer when they don’t get one, which makes them resilient.
We may have goals, dreams, and plans, but unexpected circumstances or events can throw us off course.
It can be challenging to detach ourselves from these outcomes, but by focusing on what we can control, we can maintain our motivation and determination.
Imagine watching a movie with a plot that resembles your life.
You may find yourself invested in the characters and their journeys, but ultimately you know that it’s just a story.
You have the power to detach yourself from the outcome and enjoy the experience of watching it unfold.
Choose personal power.
Similarly, in life as a whole, we can learn to detach ourselves from the outcome of our efforts and enjoy the journey.
By focusing on what we can control, we stand a better chance at finding fulfillment and success .
We can get centered and take effective action. We can choose personal power.
By embracing impermanence, we can get centered and take effective action to transform our lives and move towards the growth zone where we find our purpose, achieve our goals and live our dreams.
